Open letter
To Santa Claus
This is my last open letter of the year, and I decided to write to you, not to that fictional Coca-Cola grandfather. Since I have not been obedient at all, I will not want anything for myself. But I will ask you to bring a gift to several really meek, conscientious and obedient children of our country.
First, bring a new head for the cap of Prosecutor General Ivan Geshev. The head he has is already full of backstage orders and needs to be replaced.
Second, bring “Voltaren” or something similar for the joints of Finance Minister Ananiev. At his age, it is not easy to stay on your knees all the time.
Third, bring a mirror to Minister of Social Affairs Sacheva. The only way to take on a human form is to be startled by something he sees.
Fourth, bring ginkgo biloba to Deputy Prime Minister Donchev. The man has been trying for years to remember where he left billions for e-government.
Fifth, bring a puppy to the Minister of Health Angelov. The only way for someone to love him is if he doesn’t understand what he is saying.
Sixth, bring a toy tank to Defense Minister Karakachanov. He failed to get into a real tank, but if he sat on a toy tank, the opposite could happen.
Seventh, don’t bring anything to Peevski, because he eats his toys. Besides, Uncle Dogan gives him presents all the time, because he is more generous than you, Santa Claus.
Eighth, Boyko Borissov also does not need to get a gift. In fact, he himself is a gift to you, from me. Put him in the sack and take him far away to your lands. I don’t know what you’re going to do to him there, but he doesn’t do us much good here either. Since he is warm and dense, you can wrap Rudolph with his body. Just an idea, I don’t mean to interfere in your decisions
Well, thank you for everything, Santa Claus. In advance.
And I’m waiting. Zen-zen-zen.
With hope,
Radoslav Bimbalov, a disobedient man.
